Tuesday, November 8, 2011

PPD: A letter to Emmalyn

A letter I wrote to my daughter, Emmalyn, while being hospitalized for postpartum depression, January 2011:

To My Sweet Angel Baby, Emmalyn Grace,

I hope you know how much I love you. You are my world. I also hope you know this is not your fault. I've never blamed you for this, nor will I ever. You are the most precious gift I've ever received. I thank God every day for you. You are the most incredible baby in the entire world. When I hold you and stare into your eyes, I'm at peace. 

I want you to know you're my motivation for getting better. I've waited and prayed for you my entire life. It's tearing me up inside to be away from you. You're the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last before I fall asleep. I pray to God to give me the strength to conquer this so you can be in my arms again. I'm going to be strong for you because I'd do anything for you. Always! I promise. 

I'm so thankful you'll never remember all this. & one day, if you read this when you're older, remember how much I love you.

You are my world,
& my life,
Forever your mommy 


***
To read from the beginning, click here 

3 comments:

  1. Katie - How strong you are to allow yourself to share your story. The cards we are dealt are not the ones we have chosen; it's all about attitude and outlook, it's about how we play them. You, my dear, are an inspiration of how to accept the reality of the worst parts of life, take action to make a change, and then reflect on your experience. I hope this life shows you its beauty, and that you continue to grow in heart, mind, and body. Bless you for making an impact in all of your readers lives.

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  2. You are a strong lady. It takes courage to face these battles and please know you have a wealth of wonderful women around you that understand and are a shoulder for you to lean on. Its a terrifying thing to go through. Here if you ever want to talk.

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  3. Postpartum Depression is one of the most scary things in the world for the mother going through it. I suffered from it twice (and have since suffered from depression and bipolar since) and I know how terrible it is :(
    You did such a brave thing getting the help that you needed - so many people DON'T do this so you are a role model to us all!
    Thank you for sharing it so openly on your blog also. My goal in life is to try to take away that nasty stigma that surrounds mental illness!!
    Thank you for your voice in regards to PPD!

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