Thursday, December 26, 2013

It's Official... We're Having A....

We are now unashamedly accepting donations.

Why? You may ask.

Because...


Our family is being filled with more bows, tutus, and tiaras!

I think the hubs and I were both a little shocked, as we were kind of thinking it was a boy, but honestly I'm sort of relieved on the amount of money we will save on allthegirlythings because goodness gracious there's a lot of it!

Plus, Emmalyn's reaction was priceless. I sincerely thought she wouldn't *get it* but when we told her, she screamed and jumped into my arms, patting my back. It was beautiful.

It took a couple of days for the news to settle in, but we're extremely thrilled and feel incredibly blessed to be bringing another little girl into the world. I mean, we did so great the first time around... ;)




loyally,
katie

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Saturday, December 21, 2013

On Turning 27


First of all, *27* is an odd number and I have a weird thing with odd numbers. They're just not as cool as even numbers. Don't ask.

But speaking of weird, I also have a weird thing with birthdays. I'm not a fan of celebrating my own. It's not that I mind getting a year older--because I don't. & hopefully by turning a year older the lady at the nail salon will quit asking me if I'm single because I look too young to be a mom. True story.

But I digress...

I absolutely l-o-v-e celebrating other people's birthdays! Just not mine. I really don't like the attention all on me. I get so uncomfortable. And then there's the whole cake thing. I don't like cake or cupcakes so what do I blow out the candles on? A cucumber?

Twenty-seven is so young, yet I have already done so much in my life: graduated college, been married 3 1/2 years, mommy to a daughter and another baby on the way, moved three times in my adult life...

Twenty-seven makes 17 seem like a lifetime ago! At seventeen, I was thinking about college, although secretly wanting to dance my life away on a cruise ship, while still semi-obsessed with a boyfriend who was totally and completely toxic. Thank goodness for college and finding The Man of My Dreams! For reals. When I think about turning thirty-seven in 10 years, I think about how I will be a mom to a full-fledged, crazy teenager (Lord, help me!) and a mom of a nearly ten year-old. I imagine Blake and I will be semi-settled in a city we love, although honestly, we probably still won't be home-owners since who knows where in the world the military will have taken us by then?!

Being twenty-six this past year has been jam-packed-full with all sorts of emotions. I was on such a high of excitement, with thoughts of moving out of my hometown. I was enthralled to move to a new city and time zone; make new friends and start a new life with my little family. Twenty-six brought the breathtaking news of adding to our family, but it also brought an almost complete meltdown. Twenty-six brought on the realization of ceasing to strive to be Super Wife and Super Mom, something I feel profoundly proud about now, as I see those older than me still struggling with this concept. A part of me wants to slap them upside the head and say, "Just say no! It's not worth it. You'll be a much better person if you say no and do less." The benefits will be so much richer and sweeter for you and your family. I think that's a pretty deep thing to discover at only twenty-six.

Now, I don't fight the fact that twenty-seven is quite young. After all, more of my friends are single than they are married, and only a few have started having children. But having a baby at twenty-three sky-rocketed me into adulthood a little sooner than most. I skipped the whole Getting Your Shit Together and Finding Yourself project, and jumped head-first into the role of Mommyhood, where, let's be honest, you quickly learn no one ever has their shit together. I saved myself a lot of trouble by learning that little secret.

I pray my twenty-seventh year will be one of peace. Or as much peace as a gal can have when having a second child. Okay, let's be real... this next year is going to be completely chaotic! But I think with everything I've learned while being twenty-six, I will be able to handle it with more knowledge, poise, and grace than ever before.


& just for fun, here are 27 Things I've Learned by 27: 


... just say no

... ask for help

... it's okay to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. the outcome is almost always worth it

... moving far away is thrilling

... moving far away is scary

... it's impossible to live happily in the past and the future. we only have here and now

... happiness is a choice, not a reward or privilege

... family is everything

... standing by what you believe and not stepping down is imperative, even if people don't understand it

... just because a friend is in a different "season of life" doesn't mean you can't still be friends

... 'say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out, honestly i wanna see you be brave'

... change is scary

... change is amazing

... thinking of '27 things i've learned' is tough!

... it's always more important to be grateful than to be anything else

... never forget to take care of yourself

... prime time comedy can cure almost any bad day

... letting go is hard, but the benefits can be so rewarding

... a messy house means a happy house, not a crazy one. okay, maybe a little crazy--but in a good way!

... bad memories from the past don't have to stay bad. you can learn from them and turn them into something positive

... doing nothing at times can be just what your body and mind needs

... nothing is every worth losing your cool over

... grace and tact can carry you a long way

... waking up before your child is a lifesaver

... hanging on to your muchness is crucial

... figuring out who you are is a journey that will last a lifetime

... 27 is not so odd after all



loyally,
a new 27 year-old,
katie


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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Bumpdate: 17 Weeks ~ Baby #2


How far along: 17 weeks, today.

Symptoms: Sporadic headaches, terrible allergies (I had this happen with Emmalyn, too), awful groin pain, making it quite uncomfortable to walk at times (already?!)

Maternity Clothes: Living in mostly regular leggings, although my maternity ones from H&M are much more comfortable. I have a pair of maternity jeans from Target and a brown pair of skinnies from Motherhood Maternity since I no longer fit into my pants! Since I'm pregnant during a different season this time around, I purchased long-sleeve maternity shirts, as it will get a lot colder in our new city.

Total Weight Gain: 3 pounds. I'm definitely showing a lot sooner than I was with Emmy.

Gender: This Type A Girl is anxiously awaiting! I was originally told I would find out next week, but could not get an appointment until December 31! I'm so bummed because I wanted to find out before my birthday, which is next Thursday (the 20th), but it looks like I will have to wait. Hmph! I'm impatient! Although.... it may be kind of cool to announce it at midnight...

Movement: It's funny how this time around I was able to detect the little flutters right away, at around 11 weeks. I'm sure it had to do with the fact that I already knew what it felt like. Just this week I've started feeling the baby move around while I'm up and moving, too, whereas before it was just when I was sitting or lying still.

Sleep: When I'm not blowing my brains out into a tissue, I'm sleeping pretty well. I have finally stopped peeing a million bazillion times a night, so I'm thankful for that.

Cravings & Aversions: Nope to both!

Funny Moments: Uncontrollable peeing.

Not So Funny Moments: Uncontrollable peeing.

Nesting: I definitely have a lot more energy now that the first 16 weeks have passed. Before, I was so nauseous and felt like I couldn't move from the sofa. Now, I am going from one errand to the next, and getting out more with Emmy.

Best Moments This Week: Hands down, having Emmalyn go to our ultrasound last Wednesday. The doctor let her *do it* and when she saw the picture on the screen she said, "Look Mommy! It's our baby!" It was the most beautiful moment. I can't wait for her to be a big sister. She's going to rock it!

What I Miss: Having a little bit of alcohol at a restaurant.

Looking Forward To: Looking a little more pregnant. Right now I'm at the "is she, or isn't she?" stage.

loyally,
katie


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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

& I'm back!

I finally feel like a normal person again! & I finally have a computer back. After some technical glitches... umm, like losing e v e r y t h i n g on my laptop, I have a fresh start. Yep. Losing everything on your hard drive is a major bummer, let me tell 'ya. I lost three chapters of my novel, our budget, tons of medical references, numerous journal entries, and who knows what else! It would have cost at least $600 to have the data recovered, and that's just money we weren't willing to spend. The only thing I can take away from this whole situation is back!it!up!

In other news, I am 16 weeks preggers and no longer nauseous! Yippity skippity! I woke up on Thanksgiving feeling like a completely different person. People kept telling me *16* was the magic number. I guess they were right.


We are finally back in our home as a family. After nearly six weeks of staying with family, Emmalyn and I have been reunited with our favorite man! On the seven hour drive back, Emmalyn cried that she didn't want to go to her "blue house"--that she wanted to go back to GG and BopBop's house (my parents). It was so pitiful... However, once we drove down our street she was excited, and even more thrilled to be back with all her toys. It was like Chirstmas Day!



Even though I hated being away from my husband for so long (I saw him for 72 hours within six weeks), we really did have a memorable *vacation*. Emmalyn and I got to hang out with our best friends and go on multiple fun play dates. We went to Sea World once, and Disney four times.


The best part of our trip was when Daddy flew in and joined us for a Disney Princess Breakfast for Emmalyn's 3rd birthday. Both sets of grandparents were there, and it was such a memorable and magical day! I could write a whole other post on just this day...

{took emmy to our engagement spot at epcot}

We were fotunate to be able to celebrate Emmy's birthday with all her favorite friends from "back home". Originally, when making the decision to take a change of scenery, I was bummed she wouldn't have a birthday party with her friends for school, but spending her day with the little friends she's grown to love was much more meaningful. She greeted almost all of her guests at the door and we didn't even tell her to! I know that in the three year-old heart of hers, she was super appreciative.

I was extremely nervous about Emmalyn going back to school today. After all, it has been about six weeks. Last night she told me, "Mommy, don't ever leave me. Ever. {holds my chin} Understand?" Yipes!! It was quite dramatic. But this morning we were talking about all her friends and the fun things she would do at school. When I dropped her off, she walked right in with a big smile on her face. & when I picked her up? Even bigger smile! She told me she had a really fun day. Phew!

So there ya have it, friends! Just a little update. More to come on "prego bumpdates", Emmalyn's birthday, and getting back into the swing of things!

It's good to be back!


loyally,
katie




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Friday, October 25, 2013

The truth.

Most of you all know bits and pieces (or maybe a whole lot) about the postpartum depression I went through after Emmalyn was born. {If not, please click on the PPD link above} I held a lot back for several reasons, one of them being judgement. But I'm not afraid anymore, and I don't want to hold back now that I'm pregnant a second time. I also don't want to sit behind a computer screen, blogging about how amazing I feel, when I actually don't. My experience is real, and I know I'm not alone. I admit, it's a little scary to be sharing my personal life on the Internet, but if it helps just one person (whether now or in the future) than I feel like I've done something good in this world.

So here goes nothing! (or everything...)

This was written in my journal one month and five days ago:


I woke up, heart pounding of of my chest, sweat soaking the front of my shirt. I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety seep through my veins, trapping me with an illogical thought that something bad was going to happen to Emmalyn and me.

I had convinced myself I'd be okay while Blake traveled to Texas for a week for casualty training. After all, I've been away from him for six weeks before; a week is nothing, right?

Well, apparently for some reason I was lying to myself. I got so nervous after he left that I became extremely emotional, crying uncontrollably. My dear sweet girl came over to me, asking me why I was crying. I told her it was because I missed Daddy. She said to me, "It's okay mommy. Don't cry. I'll take care of you." Which of course made me cry even more because of her innocent selflessness. She can be so sour at times, but she really has such a kind heart. She gave me hugs and kisses and two year-old promises that everything will be just fine.

I'm just so frustrated because my fears seem so real. I don't want to go through what I went through last time, after Emmalyn was born. But most of all, I don't want to put the people I love most through all the hardship again. They don't deserve it.

I called my mom in hysterics, sharing everything. She wanted me to come down to stay with her for the week, but the thought of packing up, locking up, and traveling overwhelmed me even more. With some thought, she came to the conclusion that she would fly up and stay with me until B got back a week later.

After I talked to my mom I got a hold of B to fill him in on everything and he seemed to think I should stick out, with help from people already around me, instead of my mom swooping in to save the day.

I tried to explain to him that that's what moms do! They come to the rescue when you need them. I understand his point of view, because I know I can't always rely on my mom when things get tough, but this mental health shit scares me--and I don't want to take any chances.

So my mom is flying in tomorrow and I don't know how I'll ever thank her!

I'm just so scared of what the future holds if I'm already feeling this emotional in the sixth week of my pregnancy. It's going to be a long nine months!

But I can do it! I AM CAPABLE! With medical help, and help from my friends and family, I'll get through it. Besides, there's no turning back now! ;-)

***

It's been over a month since my panic attack, and I'm proud to report I'm doing so much better. The option of medication was given to me, but I've decided to take it week by week. However, if it's something that is necessary down the road, I'm okay with it. Physically, I feel nauseous almost all day long, and I'm completely drained (no thanks to a two year-old to chase around), but mentally I am doing so much better. 

I have an amazing doctor and a therapist whom I've seen twice. They eased my guilt about getting support from my family. My doctor said, "If you had a heart attack, you wouldn't feel guilty about them taking care of you, so having them take care of you for this is no different." And my therapist told me to stop trying to be super wife and mom and go stay with my parents (and in-laws and friends) for a month while B has a month of night shift.

So that's exactly what I'm doing. While it's a bummer to be away from B, I realize I'd never seem him anyway, with us being on complete opposite schedules, so why not have a change of scenery and take care of myself and growing baby?! 

Thank you to all those who have known about this for weeks and have been by my side to help! 

loyally,
katie


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Monday, October 21, 2013

Guess What?!



We're both excited & nervous to welcome Baby #2!

***

loyally,
katie


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Monday, August 26, 2013

To the People Who Love My Kid

Y'all rock! No joke. There's something exciting about seeing people snag your child up at the door and envelop them in a tight embrace. Er, wait... let me rephrase that... There's something about seeing people you trust snag up your child. Yeah, that's better.

To those people, thank you. Thank you for caring about my child as much as you do. Just because we're friends doesn't mean you automatically have to like my daughter. But, still, you do. & honestly, I think you sometimes like her better than me. & if you would rather take her out for coffee than me, I'd totally be cool with that. In fact, when can you pretty please come and take her for a girls' day out?? Since you love her so much more than me, I'd be happy to oblige by staying at home by myself... with peace and quiet....

I digress.

But seriously, it warms my heart to know that you really and truly do care about my daughter. I'm flooded with happiness knowing it's not a burden to bring Emmalyn with us to your house for dinner, or (grown-up) game nights. She's welcomed, and it's humbling. Your patience, when Emmalyn wants to hold the Catch Phrase game, hasn't gone unnoticed.

I can see the love going both ways in Emmalyn's eyes when she hears that we're going to see you. She won't stop asking about you until we're physically in your presence. And as if I weren't already convinced of the love, she reassures me by jumping into your arms. As a parent, it's a huge relief to know that my daughter is loved and cared for by others.

You don't just love my child when things are easy, though. Nope. You also love her when she's crawling under the restaurant table, licking your windows, or ripping her Flower Girl dress right before you walk down the aisle. Yep. That says a lot about the person you are. Someone who is there for you no matter what! Those are the kinds of people I want to not only surround myself, but my daughter, with.

So thank you. Thank you for being a part of our silly little family.

I must say, I think of Emmalyn as an extension of myself. & you love Emmalyn. & because Emmalyn is really just an extension of me, well that just means you really love me.

loyally,
katie


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Monday, August 19, 2013

Emmalyn's 1st Day of School!


"I can do anything." --Madeline

That's the mantra I went in with today as I dropped Emmalyn off at her first day of school. (so maybe we watched Madeline a bazillion three times yesterday while it was raining) I just can't believe my little girl started school already! & I can't believe I'm old enough to actually have a little girl starting school.

Granted, she's only there for an hour and a half today--but still!

For this first week, the children only go for a limited amount of time to get them acclimated to the classroom. Next week, Emmy will go two days a week, for four and a half hours at a time.

Seriously, this whole time leading up to her going to school I've had My Brave Face on, and truly I believed it. But, y'all, when I drove away from her school this morning, it hit me!

Hard.

I cried painful sobs all the way home.

& it wasn't even because she was crying, because she wasn't.


I think the depth of the whole situation took me by surprise. My little girl is growing up. Sounds terribly cliche, I know... but it's true. She baffles me everyday with her ever-growing conversations and stories, her kindness (we'll leave out the part about her ever-growing temper), and her sense of wonder and curiosity.

You might wonder why, as a stay-at-home-mom I'd be sending my child to school? Why not soak up every.single.moment? Well, to be honest, we were getting bored with one another. It's not like we didn't go out and explore almost everyday (and with other kids) but I could tell that I wasn't giving my daughter enough at home. She needed something else. 

And I'm okay with that. Not an ounce of guilt. 

She's insanely curious and always getting into things. When we moved to our new town, we literally went "school shopping" until we found what we thought was the perfect fit for Emmalyn. This school focuses more on the child's freedom to explore, discover, and select their own work. They empower independence through asking questions, puzzles, and focus on learning without having to be "spoon-fed" by the teacher. This is something we felt was important for Emmalyn based on her personality. 

This whole summer I've been extremely excited for her new adventure! Practically every day we talked about her "First Day of School", and Emmy would always ask, "You'll come with me?"

Well, umm... not exactly. I feared she would cry and protest on her first day considering how attached she is to me, but Nope! She was a champ! I was so proud to see her walk confidently into her classroom with her head held high. I think that's the pivotal moment that sent me over the edge into Cry Town... Seeing my little love take on such a brave task.


So how did she do?!

She was super! Which bring me to my next Madeline mantra: "I'd rather be super everything than super nothing." She came out of that classroom with the world at her fingertips. Smiling. Accomplished. Happy. Ready to do it again!

And Mommy was relieved! ...and glad to have my baby back! 

& what made it all the more sweeter was having Daddy surprise us at pick-up. Icing on the cake to the Best First Day of School!

The first thing Emmalyn told us about her day was that she made new friends.

Can I get an Awwwww???

I'm so proud of my little love and can't wait to see what she does next!


loyally,
katie 






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Friday, August 2, 2013

FIVE on Friday


{FIVE} I've actually enjoyed cooking for my family this week. No really. Shocking, I know! I did however have a total "Pinterest Fail" when I tried to make a Garlic Parmesan Potato dish. Although in my defense, I got two phone calls while I was cooking--plus, I had to keep an eye out for a certain two year-old who gets into e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Hey! It still tasted good ;)


Strawberry Shortcake Muffins, made without flour:



My infamous Chicken Tortilla Soup:





{FOUR} Emmalyn & I totally got rained out at the splash pad yesterday. Total bummer. At least we didn't get all unpacked and settled--we were still in the car. The crummy thing about getting stuck in the rain here is that we don't have a garage at our new house--only a really long driveway and a carport. It's one of the sacrifices we had to make to live in the historic part of town, where we can walk to many places.


{THREE} I absolutely cannot wait for the fall shows to come back on. I'm most looking forward to New Girl
I'm o b s e s s e d with that show!


{TWO} Who else is loving So You Think You Can Dance?!! My favorites are Amy and Fik-Shun. They have so much stage presence, I just can't stand it! What about you?!

{ONE} I don't know what I would do without green tea or coffee every morning. I don't know why, but Emmalyn has been waking up around 6:30 every morning and it's really taking a toll on me... especially since she doesn't go to bed until about 9 every night! I know... too late for a little girl. But she won't go to sleep until Daddy comes home, which is after 8. At least she's been taking decent naps (mommy, too!) But this schedule we have going on is just not working... I need to come up with a new plan! Wish us luck!


loyally,
katie 



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